Finally I was able to get some pictures of my daughter to have for this blog. Even though my daughter did not take her life she did hurt herself many times. The scars on her body are proof enough to anyone who may think differently. Her father cut himself, her aunt burned herself, and her older sister even cut a few times, but no where near what this young lady who I am proud to call my daughter has done.
For the most part people who cut themselves do it as a way to get through tough times they are having in their lives or a way to try and forget the past. Everyone has their own way of working through problems that come their way, some ultimately give up and end up taking their lives, leaving those who loved them behind wondering why didn't they reach out.
I noticed the cuts when I accidentally walked in on my daughter getting ready for her shower. I didn't say anything until after she showered and got dressed. Then we had a heart to heart. I knew one of the reasons she might be cutting, and she told me the rest.
One is from something that happened to her while she was younger and the others were well just plain old regular teen stress combined with some really mean bullies. Mind you my daughter is bigger not only by weight to most of the bullies but also in height, hand, and foot size. She is not small in any way, accept from the inside.
She has always been quick to protect others while letting everything that was bothering her build up inside. She didn't want to bother me who has been sick most of my life and when this cutting was at the height my husband had an accident at work that changed his life and our families lives forever. So she just didn't want to burden us anymore.
I quickly told her it was never a burden to hear her concerns, and there is always time to talk. I am here for her like my mother was there for me. Sure I never cut, burned, or hurt my body in any way, other then punishing myself for things I had done wrong in life. I HAVE wanted to die before, just to end the pain and sickness I have had to endure all of my life. What keeps me going is my children, who gives me breath everyday is God, and my husband fills in everywhere else in my life.
I explained to her there will always be mean people because there is a Devil, and those who follow him are some of the meanest people on earth who people will follow just because it easier to do so then to follow the right ticket for Hell. Sorry to be blunt but it is very clearly stated in the Bible.
What about the people who felt there was no other way then to take their lives? I can just go by what the Bible says but ultimately that is going to be between God and them someday. It is not for me to be judge or jury. Everyone has to answer for what they have done in their lives.
My heart goes out to those who take their lives because the devil just kept on them until they did it. Telling them there was no one to turn to, nobody will listen, nobody can do anything, the list goes on and on.
Anyone who may be reading this and doesn't want to believe there is a God and have thought about hurting yourself, others, or even going as far as trying to take your life. There is someone out there that cares. Keep reaching out, don't give up there are people who love you. Open your eyes and tell the Devil if you believe or the voice inside your head to get away because you have a right to live and be happy.
The world is not a perfect place by any means, people are mean, some do it because someone is mean to them and others do it just because well they have been led to be mean by the own voices in their heads. They think they are better, want to have control, or even just can't control themselves or words. Everyday that God gives us breath is a blessing. Sure we might be in pain, sick, depressed, etc but there is always something to live for, someone in a worse situation.
Life is precious, reach out, you deserved to be loved and happy.
My daughter overcame cutting herself. She opened up, reached out, and began to live life again. Does she think about it sometimes? Yes she does, but she told herself that day she stopped August 5,2014 if she could go a year without cutting herself she would get her first tattoo. What does she do to keep from cutting. Well now she has a permanent symbolic tattoo to remind her each day. She also sings, meditates, and reaches out to those around her.
She is strong, she is beautiful, she is my daughter,
she is a survivor.